Regardless, I was struck when reviewing Gen. 45 recently, where we find Jacob’s sons returning to him with news that Joseph is still alive and quite well, residing as governor over all the land of Egypt. Verses 25-26 state, “So they went up out of Egypt and came to the land of Canaan to their father Jacob. And they told him, ‘Joseph is still alive, and he is ruler over all the land of Egypt.’ And his heart became numb, for he did not believe them.”

What I felt God highlighting to me in this case was that Jacob, the old man version of this new creation, had a hard time receiving the message of hope. “Jacob” was the man still with a wounded heart—vexed by the lie that Joseph had fallen prey to wild animals. The testimony of Joseph carried by his brothers initially didn’t find good soil to plant itself in. But with persistence and proof of life, Jacob’s sons were able to break through into his inner man and release the Israel within.

“When they told him all the words which Joseph had said to them, and when he saw the carts which Joseph had sent to carry him, the spirit of Jacob their father revived. Then Israel said, ‘It is enough. Joseph my son is still alive. I will go and see him before I die.’”

Israel was there all along. He just had to be awoken from his slumber. And that often takes an outside ray of hope—that foretaste of something’s existence—that glimpse beyond the valley of the shadow of death and into green pasture He’s leading us towards. And that is something God can provide—whether through words of truth (the son’s persistence with the story) or signs from heaven (the carts sent by Joseph).

There are times in our lives when we put up defense mechanisms and retreat into old ways of living—especially when our hearts are on the line. For Jacob to believe again Joseph was alive, only to discover he wasn’t, would have been more devastating than he could bear. So he resumed his position as Jacob, the wounded and numb-hearted father. That was safe for him.

But God wouldn’t let Jacob stay there. He wanted the revived man Israel to lead his people out of the famine and into a place of provision, protection and prosperity. And so He had Jacob’s sons continue on with the good report and present proof of life to Jacob until there was breakthrough and a determined Israel emerged.

And so I just encourage you, in any situation you’re facing where you feel like your heart might be numb… where you feel trapped in your old identity… where you find it easier to doubt than believe… where you feel like the truth of God isn’t setting you free… Cry out to God and ask Him to help your unbelief! (Mark 9:24).

Sometimes life circumstances create wounded spirits within us that are prone to suppressing the new creation. But we can’t let circumstances or the devil’s influence keep us engaged in an old way of living.

There’s a deposit of the Holy Spirit within you—living water that was meant to spring up and gush forth. And that inner man is just one sentence, one vision away from being revived and ready to purse destiny with full assurance of faith. We must come to a knowledge of the truth of who we really are and what God has really said and allow that truth to set us free.

So, this idea of a new well being dug in my inner man has been an anchor I’ve clung to on more than one occasion this past year when I’ve found myself longing for a new level of inner freedom. The Lord has cultivated great fruit in my life these past six or seven years; ask many of my college friends how different I am and they will tell you the transformation has been significant. But I know my inheritance in Christ is an even fuller freedom. And I desire it.

Up until last night, I had understood that new well to be some unlocking of my full personality. Or maybe a progressive deliverance from some demonic stronghold that has held back the wells of salvation in my life. Or possibly a new level of joy and zest I’ve yet to experience. I didn’t know for sure what the Holy Spirit was referring to, but I was certain that it had everything to do with me and my freedom.

Well, I suppose that is still an accurate statement–“me and my freedom”, but, typical of the Lord, I’m now certain this new well He’s digging in my life is of a different nature than I’d thought. And that’s a GOOD thing! God wasn’t just looking to open me up more or make me a more vibrant person. He wasn’t even looking to cast a demon or two out of my life. He was looking to connect me directly to my source of living water.

Wells and Cisterns

In John 4:13-14, Jesus tells the Samaritan woman at the well: “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

This water Jesus gives was defined as “living water” in verse 11—which is sourced from God Himself, “the fountain of living waters” (Jer 2:13). This refreshing, pure water is contrasted by the stagnant, even absent, water of a cracked cistern by the prophet Jeremiah in Jer. 2. One offers a continual source of life. The other essentially offers nothing.

The home I grew up in had a cistern; seemed like an indoor swimming pool to me when I was young. But as I got older, I realized it was not a place I would ever want to go for a dip. There was always a slight glaze over the water’s surface and it didn’t exactly smell like a fresh mountain spring. All I remember us doing with the water was filling the humidifier, watering plants and flushing the toilet if the power went out.

But for drinking water, we had our own well. We actually had to have our fresh water well re-drilled at some point before I left home. I can’t remember how deep they needed to go—100-some feet probably. But once they had drilled deep enough, they tapped a supply of fresh water that won’t run dry for a good, long while.

Jacob’s fresh water well was dug, by hand, some 125 ft deep and 7.5 ft in diameter. If my calculations are correct, that’s over 22,000 cubic feet of stone and earth Jacob moved to establish a consistent source of water for him, his family and his animals. No wonder it was so revered by the people of the land, including this Samaritan woman who was still drawing from it thousands of years later.

Yet Jesus, the Well of Salvation himself, invited the woman to cut her ties to the well of old and draw directly from him. And that is exactly what the Lord is initiating in my life in this season.

The Fountain of Life

I had not what I would call a rough day of work yesterday, but it was a draining one. It started with having to get up and out the door by 6:30 a.m. and I didn’t return until 6 p.m. And the day was full of “Can you fix this?” “Can you help me with this?” “Can you trouble shoot that?” “What’s the status of this?” “Can you give me feedback on that?” Just a lot of drawing on me. It made me feel very tapped and by the end of the day quite empty.

Driving home, I could feel myself shriveling up and wanting little to do with my wife and my dog, both whom I figured would want some of my attention when I returned. My mind told me I had every reason to feel that way, but my spirit man wasn’t buying it. Why did I need to feel empty? Why should I withdrawal? I serve the almighty God of the universe who neither slumbers nor sleeps! He’s not empty. He’s not tired. He’s not spent. Jesus, God incarnate, would walk all day to a village and then minister to the masses and then pray all night and do it again the next day. We don’t have records of him saying: “Not now; I’ll get to you some other time.”

And so I set myself to prayer for a while when I got home and that’s when God started showing me that the new well He’s digging isn’t to uncover some Joel 2.0… some new and improved and more free person. No, He’s digging a well directly to Himself. He’s sourcing me with life eternal, everlasting and all-powerful.

Now, I know that technically I’ve had this well available all along. Upon believing in my heart and confessing with my mouth, I’ve been saved and I have tasted of this living water. But note how Jesus tells the Samaritan woman “the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water…” This “will become” speaks of a process we undergo. The fire hydrant that is our inner man typically isn’t fully unleashed upon conversion. That kind of pressure and influence is often cultivated over time. (Though, even the most slowly and carefully dug well often still pop quite forcefully at the moment of breakthrough. But that discussion is for a different time.)

Most of us have wells we’ve been comfortably drawing from for years upon years. Be they certain authors, certain teachers, certain mentors or leaders. Or even certain go-to prayers and verses. Or worse yet, we have built for ourselves a leaky cistern of stagnate religion and idolatry where we’ve upheld timeless (and worthless) traditions, false ideologies and false gods.

In my life, over the past few months, the Lord has been showing me how He Himself wants to disciple and father me. Though He’ll still use gifted and anointed teachers, authors, leaders, friends and family to certain degree, He wants to take on the role of primary Mentor and Spiritual Father in my life. Though we’re all mentored and fathered by God indirectly through others, what God is beckoning me to is something much more personal than I’ve ever experienced or even thought possible. I don’t even know what it looks like, really, since this has all started transpiring in the last month or so. But I can feel the pull. I can feel the circumstantial demand for it He’s bringing about in my life. I can sense the holy dissatisfaction I have with all other sources of water. I can see the brokenness of the cisterns I’ve built over the years and the age of Jacob’s well.

They just won’t cut it. I must have the living water. I must have “the spring of water welling up to eternal life” spoken of by the Prophet. I must never be thirsty and empty again.

How precious is Your loving-kindness, O God!
Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings.
They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house,
And You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures.
For with You is the fountain of life;
In Your light we see light.

– Ps. 36:7-9

“If you had known personally, even at least in this your day, the things that make for peace (for freedom from all the distresses that are experienced as the result of sin and upon which your peace–your security, safety, prosperity, and happiness–depends)! But now they are hidden from your eyes.

“For a time is coming upon you when your enemies will throw up a bank about you and surround you and shut you in on every side. And they will dash you down to the ground… [all] because you did not come progressively to recognize and know and understand [from observation and experience] the time of your visitation [that is, when God was visiting you, the time in which God showed Himself gracious toward you and offered you salvation through Christ].

“For it is written, ‘My house shall be a house of prayer; but you have made it a cave of robbers.’”

– Luke 19:42-46 AMP, edited a bit by me

For indeed the days are coming in which they will say, ‘Blessed are the barren, wombs that never bore, and breasts which never nursed!’ Then they will begin to say to the mountains, “Fall on us!” and to the hills, “Cover us!”’

He then spoke the words that really gripped me: “For if they do these things in the green wood, what will be done in the dry?”

Or in other words, if man crucifies the very Son of God when it is actually quite hard to do so (ever try starting a fire with green wood?), what evil will man be capable of when it is quite easy to be so (ever try starting a fire with dry wood? It’s simple!).

During His Olivet Discourse, Jesus told His disciples that “as it was in the days of Noah, so it will be also in the days of the Son of Man” (Luke 17:26). If we look back at the story of Noah, we see that mankind was capable of such great evil, that God was stirred to remove those He created in His image from existence. At this point in history, “the wickedness of man was great in the earth and every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” That’s pretty bad! Yet, we’re promised by Jesus Himself that those days are returning to the earth, because “as it was in the days of Noah, so it will be also in the days of the Son of Man.” This might very well be the coming period of dry wood that Jesus was referring to.

So, we know that those days will hold great evil. But what really did it look like back in the days of Noah? The Bible shares a little—“all flesh had corrupted their way on the earth”—but the non-canonical Book of Enoch, which is held in incredibly high esteem by many Jewish and Christian scholars and ministers, gives us great insight.

Chapters 6-10 of the first section of the Book of Enoch tells of 200 angels lusting after women and swearing an oath to enter the earth realm and commit sin with them. Not only did they pollute the gene line of the human race (except for Noah’s, for he was “perfect in his generations”—or his bloodline), but they also “taught them charms and enchantments (the dark arts), and the cutting of roots, and made them acquainted with plants (drugs).”

The perverted human race continued to depreciate as they were taught “to make swords, and knives, and shields, and breastplates”—obviously for the purposes of war and violence. Genesis 6:11 confirms this, saying “the earth was filled with violence.” This suited the Nephilim, the offspring of the fallen angels, just fine, for they had a thirst for blood and destruction. Chapter 7 of the Book of Enoch says these “giants turned against them and devoured mankind. And they began to sin against birds, and beasts, and reptiles, and fish, and to devour one another’s flesh, and drink the blood.”

Grim times, indeed. But not any more so than what’s coming. Jesus says in Matthew 24 that preceding His return, the people of the earth will endure “Great tribulation that has never before been experienced by mankind.” The weight of sin upon the earth in this generation will be greater than that of Noah’s day. For “the world that then existed perished, being flooded with water. But the heavens and the earth which are now preserved by the same word, are reserved for fire until the day of judgment and perdition of ungodly men.” Judgment by fire is more severe than by water.

I share these things not to stir up fear or anxiety, for in the midst of these awful times, Daniel promises that “the people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great exploits.” Christ is our blessed, living hope and if He is for us, nothing and no one can be against us. But at the same time, we have to dump naïve Pollyannaism, because all is not well nor will be well.

For, as Galdalf says in Return of the King, “We come to it, at last. The great battle of our time.”

In a major diversion from my comfort zone of writing very methodically and deliberately, I’m just going to blog my stream of consciousness as I listen to the album, much like someone would blog a political debate with on-the-fly commentary. Only this will be much more edifying.

So, hopefully you’ll be blessed by what the Spirit stirs in me as we fellowship.

“The Lord reigns; He is clothed in majesty… He’s mightier than the thunder, mightier than the waters of the sea. The Lord on high is mighty.” (Ps. 93)

If anyone has witnessed the sheer power of a stormy sea, or even water in general (check out the Grand Canyon!), this is quite the comparison. I was able to see some of Katrina’s damage first hand and it was quite sobering. Isn’t it comforting to know that if He is for us, nothing can be against us?!

“Your glory will cover the earth as the waters cover the sea…” (Hab. 2:14)

This is our hope. This is what we hang our hat on. Christ is returning and with Him a wave of glory will crash upon the earth like the world has never before witnessed. The early believers were constantly exhorted to not lose hope because of this promise: Jesus is returning and will set everything in order.

“This is reality: You’re coming to reign on the earth. And the increase of your government will know no end.”

I love these lines. We need to constantly remind ourselves of what is true reality. It’s not our faltering economy; it’s not the AIDS epidemic; it’s not poverty and hunger. Yes, these are real problems that require real resources and real attention. But they aren’t our most core reality. What is unseen is more real than what is seen. And reality is that the kingdom of God, which will manifest fully when Christ returns, is already within us and the hope and blessing of His kingdom can be released here and now. Our reality as sons and daughters of the King can override present, temporary circumstances we encounter.

“And I heard, as it were, the voice of a great multitude, as the sound of many waters and as the sound of mighty thunderings, saying, ‘Alleluia! For the Lord God Omnipotent reigns!’” (Rev. 19:6)

I’m so stirred with hope when I read passages like these from the book of Revelation. My love and passion for Revelation continues to grow as I realize what a story of overcoming it is. Jesus reigns! He’s the victor and we are His people! We will not be overcome but we will triumph and join in the celebration of the ages as we the Bride are betrothed to the Lamb. The reality of this still feels distant and a little out of my reach at this point, but the excitement and anticipation of it is there nonetheless.

“I want to be unmovable and unshakeable. So let my roots go down deep. And I will be like a tree planted by streams of living water.” (Ps. 1:3)

I remember New Year’s Day several years ago reading Psalm 1 and being transformed by it as 2 & 3 became my verses for the year. It became probably the most meaningful declaration over my life as I entered a whole new season of growth with the Lord. He’s been so faithful to do His part and birth the reality of these verses in my life as I’ve sought to honor Him and His Word

“As I see the height from which you reign and the depth to which you came. And as I see the height to which you brought me and the depth to which you save. I will praise you. I will love You with all of my heart. And I will thank you forever and ever.”

Profound. If I had just a thread more revelation about what Christ gave up to become the suffering servant and our savior, I’d never live the same.

“I want to be found faithful. I want to be found steady. I want to be found faithful to the end. I want to live before your eyes. I want to stay before your gaze. Just keep me steady.”

My heart’s cry. My longing. I’ve shared with a few people recently that the greatest fear I hold in life is not reaching my full potential in the Lord. In many ways this fear is rooted in pride, because I have the wrong perspective and think it’s mostly on me to walk this out. Thankfully it’s not all on me. It’s all about having our focus set upon Jesus.

“Indwelling spirit; I’m not alone. Indwelling spirit; I’m not my own… You have not left me here alone. But what you’ve done is given me the ability to choose you.”

I simply love this song. It’s wrecking me and is the reason I’ve gotten so hooked on this album.

“Come and strengthen us in righteousness. Come strengthen us with Christ within. Come, conform me, come transform me to the image of You.”

Christ in us, the hope of glory. We’re lost and hopeless without Him. We need him so bad. My heart just breaks for those who struggle to make it each day without Christ and His Holy Spirit at work in their lives. Break me more, Lord! Work in me the ability to will and do according to your purpose. Make me a living testimony of your faithfulness and goodness. Awaken in me more fully that I’ve found the pearl of great price and that you’re worth selling all for!

“If I try and save my life I will lose it but if I lose my life for Your sake I’ll find it in the end. (This is true life.)”

The day of our wedding, I gave Heather a custom engagement photo book that I made. On the cover, I had titled the book “I will waste my life.” Some found the title curious, because it could imply that I thought I was surrendering to a lesser life by marrying her. Though that book wasn’t inspired by this song (it was inspired by a similar Misty Edwards song), I’m finding Rizzo’s “This is True Life” relevant as well. When we willfully give up and lose (or waste) our lives for sake of Christ… that’s when we really experience the good life. Marrying Heather cost me a little (the freedom and autonomy of bachelorhood) but it was a very small surrender for all the goodness I get to experience doing life with her. And so too are the surrenders Christ asks of us. There really are no “sacrifices” when it comes to the Kingdom because it is impossible to out-give God.

“Eternally I’ve been bought with blood. There will never be another sacrifice.”

A good reality to meditate on. Sometimes, we try in vain to add to Christ’s once-and-for-all sacrifice by beating ourselves up over sins, feeling like we should suffer and wallow in our fallenness. But that attitude implies that Christ’s sacrifice wasn’t enough and that he hasn’t truly suffered enough for our sins—that we need to add a little more. And that’s wrong.

“I will not despise the sowing of seeds. For I know in due time, I will see the fruit of my labors for all eternity…  Nothing in this life will every truly satisfy the desires of your heart… See the weight, see the glory of what you’re doing. It is affecting you forever.”

That last stanza has really been going through my head these last few days. Like I said last week, we really, truly will sow what we reap, good and bad. We need to live soberly. As Maximus tells his soldiers in Gladiator: “What we do in life echoes in eternity.”

“I set my eyes on what I can not see. I set my eyes on the eternal. You are my great reward. Forever I will be with You. This momentary light affliction is working me an eternal weight of glory.” (2 Cor. 4)

My late friend Brian embraced these verses from 2 Cor. as he was dying of cancer. As his body was being ravaged by that fierce evil, he embraced eternity. He looked into his hopeful future and saw white shores Gandalf recalls in The Return of the King. Brian looked upon death and saw the victory that Christ had secured over it. Life would go one. He was just passing into a new dimension.

As Maximus says in Gladiator: “Death smiles upon us all. All a man can do is smile back.” It HAS NO VICTORY OVER US! IT HAS NO STING! We need to grow in revelation about death. Don’t get me wrong, I’m pissed Brian, as well as two other friends (Tim and Randy) were taken from us very prematurely. That’s wrong and it was completely from the devil. But still… we don’t have to carry prolonged sorrow over someone passing into the presence of the Lord. My friend Scott told me of a funeral he attended where his wife’s Godmother rebuked people for crying when they should be celebrating someone going to heaven. That might be a little strong, but it makes the point that we all lack revelation on what life is all about. Our life is but a vapor or a mist that disappears in a moment. Eternity is what we need to be living for. God, please work in me this truth! You hold the words of eternal life!