Wading through life

A while ago I was reading the story of the crucifixion and I was struck by the words spoken by Christ as He made his way towards Golgotha (Luke 23:27-31). The multitude was following Him and as He heard some of the women mourning and lamenting, He asked them to divert their tears and sorrows to a future generation who would have it far worse off than they.

For indeed the days are coming in which they will say, ‘Blessed are the barren, wombs that never bore, and breasts which never nursed!’ Then they will begin to say to the mountains, “Fall on us!” and to the hills, “Cover us!”’

He then spoke the words that really gripped me: “For if they do these things in the green wood, what will be done in the dry?”

Or in other words, if man crucifies the very Son of God when it is actually quite hard to do so (ever try starting a fire with green wood?), what evil will man be capable of when it is quite easy to be so (ever try starting a fire with dry wood? It’s simple!).

During His Olivet Discourse, Jesus told His disciples that “as it was in the days of Noah, so it will be also in the days of the Son of Man” (Luke 17:26). If we look back at the story of Noah, we see that mankind was capable of such great evil, that God was stirred to remove those He created in His image from existence. At this point in history, “the wickedness of man was great in the earth and every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” That’s pretty bad! Yet, we’re promised by Jesus Himself that those days are returning to the earth, because “as it was in the days of Noah, so it will be also in the days of the Son of Man.” This might very well be the coming period of dry wood that Jesus was referring to.

So, we know that those days will hold great evil. But what really did it look like back in the days of Noah? The Bible shares a little—“all flesh had corrupted their way on the earth”—but the non-canonical Book of Enoch, which is held in incredibly high esteem by many Jewish and Christian scholars and ministers, gives us great insight.

Chapters 6-10 of the first section of the Book of Enoch tells of 200 angels lusting after women and swearing an oath to enter the earth realm and commit sin with them. Not only did they pollute the gene line of the human race (except for Noah’s, for he was “perfect in his generations”—or his bloodline), but they also “taught them charms and enchantments (the dark arts), and the cutting of roots, and made them acquainted with plants (drugs).”

The perverted human race continued to depreciate as they were taught “to make swords, and knives, and shields, and breastplates”—obviously for the purposes of war and violence. Genesis 6:11 confirms this, saying “the earth was filled with violence.” This suited the Nephilim, the offspring of the fallen angels, just fine, for they had a thirst for blood and destruction. Chapter 7 of the Book of Enoch says these “giants turned against them and devoured mankind. And they began to sin against birds, and beasts, and reptiles, and fish, and to devour one another’s flesh, and drink the blood.”

Grim times, indeed. But not any more so than what’s coming. Jesus says in Matthew 24 that preceding His return, the people of the earth will endure “Great tribulation that has never before been experienced by mankind.” The weight of sin upon the earth in this generation will be greater than that of Noah’s day. For “the world that then existed perished, being flooded with water. But the heavens and the earth which are now preserved by the same word, are reserved for fire until the day of judgment and perdition of ungodly men.” Judgment by fire is more severe than by water.

I share these things not to stir up fear or anxiety, for in the midst of these awful times, Daniel promises that “the people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great exploits.” Christ is our blessed, living hope and if He is for us, nothing and no one can be against us. But at the same time, we have to dump naïve Pollyannaism, because all is not well nor will be well.

For, as Galdalf says in Return of the King, “We come to it, at last. The great battle of our time.”

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

— Hebrews 12:1-2

Did you know you’re living in your particular home, in this particular period of time, for the exact purpose of groping after God? Yep; it’s true. For it is written:

He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their preappointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings, so that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us. (Acts 17:26-27)

There are specific situations and dynamics that are unique to the place and time in which you exist that are meant to induce a searching—a groping—after God.

To “grope” isn’t an intrinsically sexual term. It means to “feel about blindly or uncertainly in search”, as in, feeling around a wall for a light switch when entering a dark, unfamiliar room. In doing so, you’re groping for the switch. You fumble around, rubbing your hand all over the wall, until your fingers find what they’re looking for.

It’s the same with God: He positions us strategically, in vulnerable and needy situations, that we might seek after Him. He’s never far from us, though, like the light switch. And we recognize Him when we find Him, also like the switch. Our pursuit of him is to resemble groping. Though we’re blind about some things and uncertain about others, we’re to seek Him out until we find Him.

So much of the Kingdom is about seeking. It’s a forefront principle in discipleship. Jesus said:

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it. (Matt. 13:44-46)

What do you do to obtain treasures and beautiful pearls? If you’re serious about it, like Jack Sparrow, you seek after them diligently until you find them. You grope for them. Seeking in the kingdom of God is vital. And because many people’s nature tends more towards settler than pioneer, God assists them by placing them in situations that He intends to induce groping.

So, in light of this reality, I guess a proper question to now ask ourselves is: Are we groping for God? Are we reaching into dark and unknown places in search of Him? Are we pushing past blindness and uncertainty to obtain more of Him? Because if we aren’t, we aren’t fully experiencing the reason for which God positioned us where He has and when He has. In our walks with God, the grass is never greener on the other side. There is never an “ideal” time or place to seek after God that is better than the time or place in which we now exist. “Now” is always the right time and “Later” is never the right time. “Here” is always the right place and “There” is never the right place. We will seek God and we will find Him when we seek after Him will all our hearts (Jer. 29:13), not when we have more time or live in a more anointed environment.

The good news is that a groping-for-God renissance is never more than a moment away. With a simple yielding of our spirit to His, with a simple “Yes” of our heart that says “God, I know Your word says that I’ve been placed here and now to grope for You and follow hard after You. Count me in; I want more of You,” we can initiate a hot pursuit of Him that need not ever be quenched until we either rest in peace or are caught up in the clouds with Him at the last trumpet.

Ez. 22:30 — “I looked for someone who might rebuild the wall of righteousness that guards the land. I searched for someone to stand in the gap in the wall so I wouldn’t have to destroy the land, but I found no one.”

Did you realize that righteousness actually protects a nation? God is actively scanning America’s horizon, looking for those who will stand up for the Word; who have allowed zeal for the Father’s house to consume them; who will respond in passionate opposition to evil in the spirit of Nehemiah. He’s looking for those who will rebuild our wall of righteousness.

It’s not okay that millions of babies are being killed each year. It isn’t a political issue; it’s a moral—no, a spiritual—issue. And it’s a fight we can’t tire of fighting. It’s not okay that the God-ordained institution of marriage is being trivialized, novelized and made anything-but sacred. It’s not ok that America is shedding its Christian heritage, forgetting the God who led us to establish a new nation under the banner of freedom. And there are dozens of other dire situations we simply CANNOT be okay with.

While each of these are dire in-and-of themselves, we must realize that they are simply firstfruits of darker realities that lie ahead if the walls of righteousness are not raised. You think the spirits of convenience, selfishness, death and genocide that drive the abortion agenda will stop with killing unborn children only? No, it’s after the elderly and disabled, too. And then it will widen its reach further to the sick, the powerless, the unskilled, the poor… those who are perceived to offer little to society. And then it will simply go after the un-perfect—and that encompasses all of us.

Chinks in the armor of Godless, human “morality” will be fully exploited until that armor is replaced by the uncompromising and infallible righteousness of the Lord and his Eternal Word. We have to be passionate for the ways of God. We have to desire his law and precepts and Word like David did in Psalm 119:

⁵ Oh, that my actions would consistently
reflect your decrees!
¹⁴ I have rejoiced in your laws
as much as in riches.
²⁰ I am always overwhelmed
with a desire for your regulations.
³⁰ I have chosen to be faithful;
I have determined to live by your regulations.
³¹ I cling to your laws.
Lord, don’t let me be put to shame!
³² I will pursue your commands,
for you expand my understanding.
³⁶ Give me an eagerness for your laws
rather than a love for money!

May we pray and cry out that God would change our hearts to desire his righteousness to be exhibited through our lives and throughout our land. May we be OVERWHELMED with desire for his regulations. May we CHOOSE and be DETERMINED to live by the Word. May we CLING to God’s ways and PERSUE greater understanding. And may we respond to the Word with more excitement and delight than we would winning the lottery.

God WANTS America to pull out of its spiritual malaise. He desires to show mercy and doesn’t delight in judgment. But we need to awaken. We need to begin rebuilding our wall of righteousness.

Rom. 13:11-12 — “And do this, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now our salvation is nearer than when we first The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light.”

I went horseback riding for the third time in my life a few weekends ago. Unlike the first two times, this time I wasn’t atop a horse that was following another horse, which was following a few other horses, which were ultimately following a lead horse. It was just me and the horse in a rather large corral (if that’s the right term). I essentially got to control where and how fast the horse traveled.

Early on during my little ride, I struggled to control the horse. I had a hard time getting him to travel straight. I initially steered him to the left toward the edge of the fencing. As I saw us getting a little too close, I steered him to the right. But that ended up being too much so I went back to the left.

I went through a good three or four rounds of that before I realized what was wrong. I was holding the reigns a little too tight. I had choked up on them too much so that each time I directed the horse to the left or to the right, he was going way left and way right. I didn’t understand just how sensitive the horse was to subtle directions.

I wouldn’t say I held the reigns too close and tight because I was anxious about my first independent ride; I was more so just inexperienced. On my previous two rides, I hardly had to hold the reigns at all because the horse just followed whatever horse was in front of it. This was a different experience. The horse was pretty well behaved (unlike the other one available that day), but it still required a bit of getting used to.

I’ve been thinking about that lately because I see a parallel or two in my walk with God. I think I’ve been holding on too tightly. Looking back, I see a lot of striving and performing in my life this last year or so. That isn’t to say I haven’t experienced exceptional growth in my relationship with God over the same span, because I certainly have. But I feel that I’ve not taken the shortest distance between two points to arrive at the destination God has for me. I’ve strove a bit to the left, performed some to the right, tried real hard again to the left and then got all frustrated and yanked back again to the right.

I feel like striving, performing, perpetually trying harder and yanking are all signs of immaturity and insecurity. I understand that there’s a fine line, because sitting idle and having no work to show for your faith is immature, too. Actually, it’s sin. And I also know that God is certainly okay with trying and failing. But I believe that with a mature faith in God and the work of Christ on the cross comes an ease and confidence that empowers people to live effective and impactful Kingdom lives without beating the air all the time.

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:24-26:

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air.

As one who recently completed a 1/2 marathon, I’m familiar with what it means to train for a race. I suppose I don’t know what it means to train with the intention of actually winning a 1/2 marathon, but I do know a bit about training. And while it’s probably harder to do so than undertraining, you certainly don’t want to overtrain. You run too hard or too long too early and you’ll injure yourself and be out for weeks.

A few weeks ago, God dropped the word “temperate” into my spirit and I just now understand why. Paul says “everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things.” Traditionally, I had looked at that verse (which is also translated “exercises self-control in all things”, “conducts himself temperately and restricts himself in all things”, “disciplined in their training”) and thought that it meant that you should restrict all the “bad” stuff from your life. Elite athletes obviously follow very strict diets. They sometimes give up recreational sports lest they suffer freak injuries. They don’t have loads of free time to burn; they live their sport.

But they also need crazy amounts of rest—more than the average person. I didn’t follow this rule, but they say when you’re training for a distance run like a 1/2 or full marathon, you should sleep an extra hour or two a night. So, in a given training day, you not only loose an hour or two running, you also loose another hour or two sleeping. Training isn’t all about killing yourself. It’s also about resting.

An article I read on RunnersWorld.com when preparing for my recent 1/2 marathon was titled “Slow Down to Speed Up: The key to running faster? Lots of slower miles.” It reported the results of studying eight national- and regional-level runners from Spain as they prepared for the Spanish cross-country championships.

As a group, the runners spent 71 percent of their time training at low intensities. In comparison, they only spent 21 percent of their time at moderate intensity, and eight percent at high intensity. When it came time to lace up the spikes and race, the runners who had logged the most time training in the low-intensity zone fared the best.

When I trained for my first half-marathon, I had a hard time restraining myself from running faster than I was supposed to on my “long runs.” My program gave me target paces to run at to prepare me to beat my goal. And most of the time, they were slower than I was accustomed to running. I didn’t understand the point of training at a considerably slower pace than I’d run the race. The way I figured, the more hard, push-myself-to-the-limit miles I ran, the better. Little did I know there was a point to all those slower miles.

So, all that to say, when Paul says “temperate in all things,” I think he truly means all things—not just things we’d qualify as “bad.” Temperate means: “marked by moderation; keeping or held within limits; not extreme or excessive.” There’s a time to push to the edge, strive and try harder, but it isn’t all the time. As Solomon says, there’s a time for everything.

I think Jesus was the most temperate person ever. Sure, he was extreme in many ways; sure, he had his moments of rage and passion; sure, he snapped at people. But he was also restrained. He wasn’t frantic and he didn’t panic. He operated in certainty and he didn’t beat the air. He prayed simple prayers and they worked.

Can you imagine the pressure, as a blood, sweat and tears human being, Jesus must have been under being the long-promised messiah of his people? The pressure to fulfill needs and meet expectations? The pressure to “answer his call”? How daunting it must have felt as he started digesting all the prophecies he’d fulfill in his lifetime? Surely, during his 20′s, he must have been tempted to think “I better get going on this! I have a lot of work to do!”

But yet, with little detail, we know that he was content to remain in submission to his parents, “growing in wisdom and in stature, and in favor with God and men” (Luke 2:52), until the appointed time. He waited until he himself heard “the voice crying in the wilderness.” He wasn’t about to get things started prematurely (unlike Saul in 1 Sam. 15:1-15).

And even when John the Baptist appeared on the scene, he wasn’t frantic to get things rolling. Luke 3:15 says “the people were in expectation” for Jesus’ arrival. Yet, he didn’t feel pressured to run out and meet that expectation. Luke goes on to say “When all the people were baptized, it came to pass that Jesus also was baptized.” “It came to pass”?!? Can’t you just see Jesus, the answer to their centuries-long prayers, just mozying into the wilderness, finding John, and getting baptized, much ado about nothing?

I believe Jesus was capable of such temperance, such confidence, such ease, because of the assurance He had of his Father’s love and approval. I’m aware of no miracles Jesus performed prior to his baptism, where God poured out His Holy Spirit upon Jesus and spoke the most powerful words a father can say to his child: “You are my Son, chosen and marked by my love, pride of my life” (Mark 1:11, MSG). The Father was bursting with pride (or brimming with joy or “well pleased,” depending on the translation) simply because Jesus was His son, not because he was about to endure 40 days of temptation, cast out a demon, heal a cripple, teach in the synagogue and eventually rescue humanity from its fallen state.

And I don’t think this was a new revelation to Jesus. I think what kept him doing only what he saw the Father doing and saying only what he heard the Father saying before his baptism was the same thing that led him to the cross: deep intimacy with the Father. Jesus was obsessed with his Father’s will because he knew the bliss of true intimacy with the Father and never wanted to experience life outside His deep affections. He didn’t do the Father’s will out of duty or obligation; he did it out of desire and passion. It was for the joy set before him that he endured the cross.

We know that out of one’s heart, the mouth speaks. John records Jesus’ referring to “the Father” 48 times in chapters 14-17, his last time teaching the disciples before Calvary. That’s once every 2.5 verses. That’s a pretty thick concentration. The Father was on Jesus’ mind.

And that’s the reality I want to experience: I want to be obsessed with the Father. Because I know that when that’s a reality, that will mean I’ve encountered the Father’s love in an utterly irresistible way. And that love will have empowered me to live more confidently, boldly and temperately.

I just want to know Him more. I really do. I know there’s deeper places to go in Him. I know there’s more freedom to experience as my revelation of His love for me grows deeper. And I know that I need that freedom am I ever going to do any significant Kingdom work. I’m just finding I’ve maybe pursued that freedom the wrong way: by striving for it, performing for it, trying harder for it. Doesn’t work. Ever try real hard to fall asleep? That doesn’t work either.

It’s time to ease up on the reins a bit.